Shining Stars

Keep shining like the star you already are. 

I was 1 second old when I had my first interaction with a woman. 

On April 21st, 1997 I took my first breath, courtesy of a fresh set of lungs, and wailed on the chest of my mother, Christina. I didn’t know it then, but I would come to find out that this woman was the product of generations of strong women and I was joining the legacy. 

As a child, I loved when my Great Grandma, Catherine, would visit. I’d sit next to her in the living room, listening to stories of what used to be. My whole life it was just her, my Grandpa Delmar passed away years before I was born. Together, they had a farm, acres of property, a life they built. After his passing, she managed everything. Selling parts of the property to builders, leasing the barn to a local architecture studio. While I was way too young and caught up in playing with barbie dolls to understand the extent of what all went into this, what I did see was my grandma working tirelessly. 

Up until the day she passed at 90, my Grandma Catherine could be found picking her blackberries in her garden. She would scrub the crevices of the kitchen you didn’t know existed. She would let toddlers bounce on her knees. She had the loudest laugh in the room. Our last day together, us grandkids dragged her into the photo booth at a wedding and she beamed and cackled while wearing goofy hats and gaudy glasses. She remained there, on her feet, majority of the evening. My Grandma Catherine first taught me what it looked like to be a strong woman. 

My grandma, Catherine’s daughter, Mary Therese, played a different role. Like the stereotypical grandmotherly figure, she provided us children with a safe fun space that smelled of sugar cookies and her signature meatloaf. We’d love sleepovers at her house, deeming the basement as our “apartment”. In the early-mid 2000’s, our mother had several health scares, leaving her in and out of the hospital. The apartment at Grandma’s allowed our imaginations to run wild and shield us from the scary unknowns and unwanted change at the time. As a young girl, night terrors were almost guaranteed to haunt me. Every visit, grandma would crawl in bed with me, soothe my cries and comb my hair until sleep found me again. 

We grew to be a very non-traditional family, with my siblings becoming parents at young ages, my mother and stepfather creating a blended family and church becoming less and less of a routine. Our lifestyle became something that our grandma would grow to not only accept, but be proud of. She cheers on every accomplishment, accepts every child/grandchild as her blood and welcomes every new friend or significant other as another member of the family. My Grandma Mary taught me what unconditional love is.

Now back to the first woman I met - my mother, Christina. I look back on our relationship since that first day and am flooded with emotion. From the early days of watching rom coms and jamming to Rob Thomas together, to the dark days of defying her as an early teen, to the present day as an adult looking for continued guidance. I realize now, thanks to my brain being fully developed, that mothers weren’t given a road map or a how-to guide. In my job, I explain often that people are the hardest thing you have to deal with. Everyone is different, reactions are different, morals and priorities are different. The same goes for raising humans. You just don’t know. 

And most importantly, as we are growing up, our mothers are too. They are learning from mistakes and trying to survive. As I recount my upbringing, the good, the bad, the ugly, I am in such awe of the woman who raised me. Despite a nasty divorce, she never faltered and spoke negatively of our father. To this day, there are things we will never know to keep us protected. On days where life gets the best of me and I go to her with tear stained cheeks and apologies for offloading too much (so people pleaser of me, I know), she always reminds me that you never stop needing your mother. And you never stop being a mom. 

Every birthday card, random flower statement cards, and out the blue texts have all been signed the same way for as long as I can remember: Keep shining like the star you already are. My mother taught me to be strong, full of love and resilient. 

So on this international women’s day, I am celebrating the three women who raised me and shaped me. I am proud to be Christina’s daughter, Mary’s granddaughter and Catherine’s great-grandaughter.

I hope you can celebrate strong women today, too and keep shining like the stars you already are.