Shared Walls

Growing up, adults are repeatedly drilling cliches into your head . “You don’t want to grow up too fast” “You’re gonna miss this” “You don’t know how good you have it”. The irony is when we finally grow up, we realize they were (mostly) right all along. 

The latest that has resonated with me is how you spend your childhood in forced proximity with your siblings. Spending evenings around the kitchen table telling stories of your day, gathered around the tv on Saturday mornings with a science show that your stepdad requires you all to watch, trying to pull all nighters fueled by candy, Aldi brand Oreos and the Wii Fit in the basement. In those moments, we never thought about how this will end someday. We weren’t thinking about how we’ll move out, forge our own futures and go on to have our own families. That one day we won’t share a wall or a bathroom ever again. 

This photo is from our last big vacation as a “whole” family. Much like our other childhood memories, I didn’t realize that I was experiencing moments that would be so important to me now.

We went to Universal this year for our vacation and if you surveyed us kids, it was probably one of our favorite trips we ever took. I remember riding Dueling Dragons (Hagrid’s ride has since replaced it) back to back to back, giggling the whole walk back to the ride, finding shortcuts to get to the front of the line quicker. I remember spending hours in Curious George Town, chasing each other around the water park. I can almost hear our laughter in the photos. 

We didn’t know then that it would be our last trip together. We didn’t know then our time with Brittany was so limited. We didn’t know then that we would be grieving her today on her death date. 

Our blended family went on several trips together, from Florida, Texas, Indiana and New York. It’s funny how my favorite memories with Brittany as a kid were spent on roller coasters, while my favorite memories with Brittany as an adult were spent just talking in her kitchen. The moments shared within four simple walls again. 

Today I am scrolling through memories, wishing I could ride one more coaster with Brittany while also longing for one more Saturday morning of watching an Albert Einstein look alike in the living room together. You really do end up missing those simple moments as you grow older. 

We especially miss you, Brittany.